I think I used to like weekends.

Do you remember when weekends were all about laying about with a jumbo bag of Doritos and nothing to do but channel surf?  Yea, me either.  

What happened?  On Monday, my next weekend looks like an open, endless block of time just full of a whole lotta nothin'!  Aaaaand then the week rolls on to Tuesday....oh, right, crap.  Laundry needs to be done.  Fine, but I got the WHOLE rest of the weekend to watch dust bunnies mate! Aaaand then....oh....right, gotta vaccuum because the dust bunnies actually HAVE been mating.  They have mated on every surface, on every rug and apparently are now mating with the hair bunnies.  Well, fine.  So what, I still have the ENTIRE weekend to lay around and watch infomercials and catch up on my 37 DVR episodes of Top Gear!  

Argh.  I forgot I gotta get my nails done because its starting to look like I stop my car with my hands, Flintstone style.  Ok, well...yea and while I'm at the mall, I'll return that shirt.  

Sweet niblets.....the car needs to be washed and I mean REALLY washed.  I found out birds CAN get diarrhea and my coffee exploded all over the dash yesterday.  The radio is stuck on some Tejano station and while I don't mind a polka styled tune at a wedding perhaps, rolling around LA with the top down and "Toro Relajo" blaring outta my car may send the wrong message.  Especially since I already get enough attention from the beat up pickup trucks with the lawnmowers in the back and 16 guys shoved in the cab.  Gotta draw the line somewhere.  Si! Bueno! Gracias!

No bueno.

Then the checkbook needs balancing, bills need to be paid, need to mail that care package, get to the gym, water the plants, wash the dog, clean up the guest room, reorganize that drawer, drop the clothes at Goodwill.....

Do you see where this is headed?  No wonder I'm exhausted Monday mornings and I'm sure I'm not the only one.  I hate the endless lists of "to do's" and its one reason I don't go to church because thats one more thing to do, plus I need to shower for it!!  I honestly don't shower much on weekends unless there will be another human within 10 feet of me because I have no FREAKIN TIME and its one more thing TO DO!!

Wow, now the whole idea of marrying and having children downright frightens me.  

Although....with lack of sleep comes some level of ignorance is bliss, so it may be a good thing!  And.... maybe I'll make friends with the interracial dust bunnies and name them "Harry" and "Fluffy" and maybe I can train them to find the remote should I have a daydream about the days I used to sit on the couch and stare at a 1080p screen but perhaps I won't since I can't actually recall when I ever did that.....or I'll just teach them to bake cookies.  Yea.  That's a good idea.  Ok, bunnies, but wash your hands first.

Possibly Offensive Ponder...although it shouldn't be.

I have this thing that I do when I'm curious about something.  I try to break it down and take it back to a simplistic thought to gain perspective.  Now this one idea I kicked around may be offensive to some, but I hope not, because its not intended to, its just merely me trying to find some truth in a world of opinions.  It is a controversial conversation for sure, especially if you are Christian, but hear me out first.

I have listened for years to people talk about homosexuals and whether they are born that way, are a product of their environment or its learned behavior.  I happen to believe they are born that way and I will explain how I came to this conclusion using my simpleton breakdown method I mentioned above.  Let me just say that I believed they were born that way long before I came up with the simpleton method of breaking things down and heres why.

I babysat two kids in the farming community I grew up in back when I was a teenager.  I only babysat them once, but the little boy made a huge impression on me.  The boy was about 5 years old and his sister was around 7.  Lets call them Max and Lisa. (I honestly don't remember their names)  So Max was very dramatic, full of high energy and carried himself with a lot of female mannerisms.  He liked to play dress up and wanted nothing more than to play Barbies with his sister.  When his father came home, he was upset to see his son wearing a skirt, carrying a purse and playing with dolls.  He told me that he would rather his son play with trucks.  The father tried to pull the "girl" toys away from him and Max just broke down and fell to the floor wailing.  And maybe this is why I was never asked to babysit again because I allowed him to play with the things he enjoyed.

I remember being so fascinated with Max because I loved seeing him happy playing with the girl stuff.  I grew up with two brothers who thought Barbies were "dumb" and I think I would have enjoyed having a sibling who liked to do the same things I did, even if he were a boy.  I mean, seriously, kids don't care and make judgements, adults do.  Max's father was clearly embarrassed and ashamed that Max played with girl stuff and I found that quite sad.  I remember thinking that there was no way little Max could have learned to like girl stuff and carry himself like a girl.  His father was a mans man and we had no openly gay community in the cornfields that I was aware of.  People were farmers.  Men were men and women were women so he clearly didn't pick this behavior up around him.  That was when I figured out that God made him that way. (I am also aware that Max could have just been transgender and not gay, but still, my point is, its not a choice.)

On top of homosexuals being born that way, lets think about the reality of society being so cruel to gays and not allowing them equal rights.  Like marriage! HELLO!!?!  People deserve to be happy!  Two men or women marrying does not affect me negatively AT ALL.  I'd much rather have a gay couple on my street with the same rights as the rest of us so they can share their lives legally (if they choose) and take part in the American dream and be HAPPY instead of feeling like they are less than.  I mean, seriously, you stay out of my bedroom and I'll stay out of yours!  Getting back to my point, with the lack of compassion and acceptance from a great deal of society, why on earth would anyone CHOOSE that?  It makes me bananas when I hear someone say they "choose" to be gay!  Why? So you close minded folks can look down on them and tell them they can't marry and are sinners?  THATS INSANE!

This whole thing got me thinking.  And based on what I witnessed with little Max, I was curious to figure out a better argument about how homosexuals don't "choose" to be gay, but just are, God made them that way.  (I know that ruffles feathers because of that great book of fiction that says that its "a sin".  Yea, whatever.)  Heres where this took me.

If you take a Darwin approach that we all evolved from apes, this actually can make a lot of sense.  So lets go back to caveman times for argument sake, before texting and cars and aluminum siding.  Caves, trees, rocks, plants, animals, clans of humans.  At this time in evolution, it was all about survival and its still this way out in the wild, survival.  So lets say we have a clan of 10 males and 12 females.  (just pulling numbers from the sky)  The bottom line for these people is survival.  Some will die of illness or animal attack or stupidity (Darwin Awards started a long time ago) but overall there needs to be balance.  So I wondered in this delicate balance if God would create some of them gay for the purpose of population control?  What if God made 2 of the men, out of 10, like other men?  If this happened, they would only want to have sex with other men and therefore, no children could be born from this natural urge to have sex.  I think that God decided to do this as a part of that balance because if all 10 men were knocking up the 12 women, there would be too many mouths to feed and they would perish during times of lean eating.  There are so many variables but what if this was the baseline reasoning?

Think about it and come to your own conclusions, this is just mine.

Nothing to talk about.

Its been a reeeeeeally long time since I've posted anything, but frankly I haven't had much to talk about.  In fact, I've been utterly bored with my life and thus felt the need to spare you all from my holding pattern of limbo that beats me down a little more each day.  To give you an example, here is my Groundhog Day that can be plugged into any Monday- Friday.

Get up.
Go to the Gym.
Walk the Dog.
Shower, Eat, Pack Food, Get ready for Work.
Drive to Work.
Get Coffee.
Work.
Commute Home.
Walk Dog.
Eat Dinner.
Go to Bed.

Doesn't get more exciting than that folks.  A Certified 100% pure Groundhog Day.  Shoot me now.  Its funny too because people think since i work in Hollywood, drive a nice car and live by the beach that my life must be AMAZING!!!

Its not.

Its boring.

Its lonely.

Its repeated and its mind numbing.

Don't read this wrong, I am thankful I have a job and all that, but is my existence for the greater good?  Am I curing cancer?  Am I leaving a mark?  Am I doing anything noteworthy or just taking up space?  I guess we all feel that to a certain extent, but I think I'd feel like I was doing something valuable if I were raising children or something.   This is where stay-at-home moms should really see how valuable they are.  Raising another human to carry on after them is noteworthy.  If I never have children, what will be my legacy?  Getting you fine folks to waste money on seeing/buying movies that you didn't really want to watch or buy in the first place?  What kind of legacy is that?  Will I be noted for ANYTHING?  "Hey that Kira, she really did amazing stuff!  She managed to stop by Starbucks each morning before work!"  or "Wow, that Kira!  She was amazing huh?!  She walked the dog TWO TIMES a day!  TWO!! WHOA!!"

Yea.

No.

I'm not saying my life would be perfect if I had a husband and kids, but having a family gives you purpose to getting up each day.  Sharing your life and experiences with a family unit makes you feel like your existence is justified and its nice to have people to witness you and your life and vice versa.  Being part of a unit makes you think of others and the greater good of the family.  Some people do better being selfless than selfish.  I think when you are alone you don't care about a lot of things like you would if you were part of a group.  Maybe I'm rambling like a crazy person and it would stand a fit argument for someone like me who has been flying in circles to nowhere day in and day out for years.

To quote my favorite musician Nik Kershaw:

"Cold and lonely, tired and bored
just like the day before
Missing out on life's rewards
of that you can be sure
So bring on the dancing girls."


So back to my hole.  Waiting for the alarm to go off so I can repeat the same day again and again.

Yip.

Yip.

Yip.

Yippee.

Bullying

There has been a recent wave of news stories involving bullying. Its amazing that it is now becoming a hot topic because bullying has been going on forever. But with all the new ways to communicate and "broadcast" our lives, it makes sense that its getting more airtime.

The biggest story that we've all been hearing about is the Rutgers freshman, Tyler Clementi. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20018385-504083.html This story is incredibly tragic. Because homosexuality is still seen as something "bad" and "wrong", many of our young people try and fly below the radar and avoid questions about their sexuality and just cover it up altogether. They shouldn't have to, cuz guess what, God made them this way and God loves them too. Loving someone of the same sex isn't wrong, its what feels right to them and I say if they are lucky to have found love, then they are truly blessed!

It would be amazing to see what would happen if we all stopped judging each other and instead understood that we all want the same things. We all want to be happy. We all want to love and be loved and we all want to be heard and accepted. Imagine a world where we accepted and celebrated that people were different? We could learn a lot from each other if we could only close our mouths and open our minds. There is just too much intolerance and too many messages telling us that we are not okay just as we are.

With this in mind, there are some amazing things happening. First of all, I think MTV's new show "If You Really Knew Me" is brilliant. I don't even care that they don't play music videos anymore with shows like this. It really gets these teens to remove the mask that they live through everyday and expose who they really are. We ALL have fears, we ALL have insecurities, we ALL feel stupid, or put down, or not good enough at one time or another and anyone who says they don't, is flat out lying.

This show takes on the head cheerleader and the popular jocks who seem to have it all and you know what? They don't. All they do have is an ability to cover up what is going on for them with a smile because maybe they were taught that it wasn't okay to be anything but perfect. They have learned social skills to interact and hide all the pain and pressure they feel on a daily basis and pretend that everything is "perfect", but it never is.

When I was in school, I actually cycled through different ways of dressing to finally find myself. I went to public school through 6th grade and we were all just a bunch of back woods country kids without much money who all pretty much accepted each other. I remember some kids were waaaaay more attractive than me and some of my crew, but no one really made fun of anyone. I actually got lucky because I was quite a sight during those first 7 years of school. I had bucked teeth, short, stringy, greasy hair and glasses with bifocals. (Know any other 8 year old with bifocals?) I knew I was a mess and waited daily for the teasing about how I looked like a boy with overhanging Bugs Bunny sized chompers....but it really never came.

Even without the bullying, I still retreated into a world of keeping quiet and trying desperately not to stand out. Invisible was my name and I was good at it. I remember a kid in 3rd grade named Dion who had a wooden leg. Not really sure why he had the wooden leg, but kids were mean to him. He always seemed so resilient to it, even taking off his leg at recess and chasing kids with it who had made fun of him, all the while laughing. He didn't seem to need a savior but I'll bet he really would have appreciated someone standing up for him. I wish I could have been that person, but I had way too many things that kids could have zeroed in one and I wasn't about to step into the fire.

Junior high and the first year of high school I spent at an exclusive private school full of rich kids, with lots of money and lots more attitude. I was hitting puberty and on top of the glasses and now, braces, I had ridiculous acne. (Sweet! Every preteens dream!) Luckily my parents did their best to dress us like the others in polo shirts, khakis and L.L. Bean bulcher shoes and boy was I even MORE of a mess. Those that know me, know that preppy ain't a good look for me, but it allowed me again to fly under the radar and stay out of sight. But because of this "invisible" shield I wore, it kept people away and made me look unapproachable.

I remember walking down Senior Hall to go see my oldest brother at his locker. I was terrified to walk by the other seniors because I was a freshman and I was waiting for them to tell me to get the hell out of there, so I adopted the "Fuck You Face". This is the meanest most angry and tough face that I could conjure. Every time I walked through Senior Hall I'd wear it and finally one day my oldest brother told me that the seniors were afraid to talk to me because they were afraid I'd beat them up.

Wow.

Me? Beat someone up? I was a total chicken, but no one saw me that way and they were scared of me all because I didn't want to get picked on. Then I felt bad that I couldn't let my guard down. I did get to know some of my brothers friends, but I still felt like an ugly nerd that was a total retard and part of that came from the fact that I was failing out of that school. I think I got "D's"in all my class but Art and Music. Hmmmm.

My final three years of high school, I spent at an all girls boarding school and what a savior that was! The most incredible thing about that place was that you had kids like me from the boonies and kids of super wealthy NYC elite and we ALL got along and treated each other with respect. Sure there were groups of the wealthy kids and the not so wealthy, but the groups intermixed and mingled nicely. I'm not gonna say there was no teasing and making fun of people, but there was a lot less and more of a sisterhood.

When I first arrived my tenth grade year, I still wore the preppy look from my previous school and I had long stringy, greasy hair. Before dinner that first night, I had had my roommate cut my hair into a cute bob and had taken on a nickname because I was really, really tired of "Invisible Kira". She was a mess and I needed to become someone new so I could find out who I really was.

This school was incredible for me and it allowed me to spread my wings. By my senior year, I was sporting a mohawk and had explored all kinds of artistic areas. I had performed in musicals, art shows and even learned to play bass guitar in our all female band. I was in heaven because I had found things that I was good at and since the student body was more about supporting one another than tearing each other down, I blossomed.

I wish all kids had this kind of school to go to. I got really lucky that my parents recognized that I was drowning in my second school and that I needed a new environment. God only knows where I would have ended up if I had continued the years of feeling like a failure. It saddens me that some kids just fall through the cracks and don't get a chance to spread their wings, especially if they are bullied. If I had been picked on through those rough years, I would have become even more invisible and shut down than I already was and it was only because I knew that I wasn't attractive by societies standards. Its too bad that we can't focus on nurturing our kids talents more and less on looks because one day they are leaving us, like it or not!

Today, Joe Jonas posted a short video blog about bullying and I commend him for it. http://www.cambio.com/shows/cambio-cares/on-bullying So many kids look up to the Jonas Brothers and I really hope it inspires some kids to maybe stand up for the "Dions" in their schools. I know its hard because no one wants to become a potential new target but other kids would sure have respect for them if they stood up for someone else who is getting picked on. Even just sitting with a loner at the lunch table could change an entire schools dynamic. I really hope things change because its unacceptable for this to continue. No one should want to take their life for just being who they are and the teen to early twenties are when we are trying different things to see what works for us. This is our building and growing time and its not usually pretty but we should be allowed to have it because it makes us better people when we figure out what we love to do and who we want to love. We can be authentic. We can be real and I don't know about you but I sure love spending time with someone who is real because they feel like sunshine and fresh air. Fake people just downright bore me and its makes me sad that they don't know who they are because I'll never get to know who they are either.

I wish I were a celebrity because I would make a point to go around to schools and share with kids what a mess I was growing up, but how it all worked out in the end. Because I was unattractive and fell on my face several times, I was able to sculpt who I truly am underneath it all and take off the pieces that didn't fit. I realize the blessings that I have and I am now thankful for those "10 Years of Humbling" as I like to call it. It made me who I am today.

I was lucky that I wasn't endlessly teased. There were many things that I could have been taunted about, but let's look out for those who aren't so lucky. Let's take a stand for those who are just exploring who they are, whether it be through an odd way of dressing or the "nerdy" activities they enjoy. Just remember......karma is a bitch and it may be coming for you! That day that you get your dream job and the CEO is the tech geek from your high school, you'll either be thanking yourself for standing up for him/her or you'll be quickly looking for a new job!

Been awhile.

I realize it has been some time since I have blogged and honestly, I just haven't had anything to say. The summer weather has been non-existent here in SoCal this year and its hurled all of us that actually live at the beach into a depression of epic beer drinking proportions. Yes, even me! I had 2 beers last weekend! *gasp!* I know right? The world must be ending.

But really, it has been so colossal-y boring that my humor has left me. I have had weeks of "Groundhog Day" syndrome. Get up, go to the gym, go to work, come home, go to bed. I'd end it all if it weren't for the one true beacon that keeps me going in this world......that February brings Girl Scout cookies. Yes, Thin Mints are my life support right now.

How did my life get this sad and boring? I should have a super exciting, super amazing life! I mean, I guess I sort of do, but the day to day is a dronefest. Hmmmm. Lemme take an inventory of my life and the good things.

1. I live 2 blocks from the beach. Normally this is a plus, but these days its a reason to look for sharp objects, but we'll still put that in the positive category......for now.

2. I drive a beautiful sports car that I never imagined I'd own. Aside from the fact that a new set of tires is $1600+, an oil change is $600 and windshield wipers are $65.......I'll still put that in the positive category.

3. I have my health. I just came off a month long illness that developed into bronchitis and now impacted sinuses.....BUT, I'm still gonna put that in the positive category because I have all my limbs and the ability to move them.

4. I have a job. I'm not posting a downside to this, because in this economy, just being employed at ANY job is a plus. AND I actually like what I do and my boss, so yay! One TRUE positive!

5. I have great friends. Again, nothing but net on that one. CHING!

6. I have a great family. Makes me want to adopt orphans because everyone deserves a family even if they are like peanut brittle and it takes a lot of sugar to keep the nuts together.

7. I have a sweet, healthy little dog that makes me laugh. For those of you that are single, you appreciate the presence of a beast at home. No matter what kind of beast that is.......unless its a male roommate that makes the soap in the shower look like a hamster because he doesn't understand manscaping. Hence the reason I don't have a male roommate. I like my soap hair free.

8. I have multiple creative talents. Painting, photography, playing music, building things....now if I can just find time to actually create something.

Wow, I'm feeling better already. Now if the sun would come out, although we are all betting (praying) that this will lead us to an indian summer. We deserve it after this summer and the last one. All this crap about global "warming". You won't get anyone in the beach community buying that crap. Its been global freezing for us and its a good thing I have an impressive and extensive collection of hoodies! And my neighbor makes fun of me for it.......until she needs to borrow one.

Parking Nazis in Hermosa Beach.

Gotta tell you, there are MANY things I love about Hermosa Beach. Many! The beautiful beach, my awesome neighbors, hot firemen, great restaurants and there is only one thing that makes me hate it.....the city office that controls the parking passes. Yea, yea, yea, I get it. People are trying to scam them into getting guest passes and temporary passes and stickers all the time. There are a lot of shysters out there. But I am not one.

In the morning, a few weeks back, I was driving down the main drag of Hermosa Avenue, on my way to Starbucks and saw someone pulling out of a parking space. I put my blinker on, stopped and within a minute, was rear-ended by a box truck from a lighting company. Old boy wasn't paying attention. Clearly. The upside....if there is one in this situation....my car surprisingly suffered little damage. (The box trucks grill was smashed and was leaking several fluids....serves him right!) Anyway, the downside was now I had to deal with getting my car fixed. Luckily, the driver, Scruffy, I'll call him that since he hadn't seen a razor in awhile, Scruffy fully...and rightfully...admitted to the accident, so then began the dance of exchanging information.

Fast forward a week or so when I get the rental vehicle while my car is in the shop. Since I have lovely neighbors, they let me leave my new Ford Escape.....dreadful vehicle....in their garage the first night, since there was no way it would fit in my tiny garage....unless I wanted to sleep in it. SO....I march on down to the Office of Finance at Hermosa's City Hall to get a temporary parking pass after I left the gym that morning. I brought the things I figured I needed, like a utility bill and the car rental agreement. As lovely as these local people are, they are really quite odd. They are all women and they stand behind the main desk and stare at you with the blankest of looks. I couldn't even VENTURE a guess as to what is going on in their heads....its like they are poker players...or....or....missing cerebral activity. They must train 'em like this because its bizarre and uniform to all the workers.

Anywho, I walk in, praying this will be a breeze. I tell the young lady I need a temporary pass for a rental car for a week....and she stares at me....a good 15 seconds.....as if I had asked her if it'd be alright that I park my spaceship on city hall....and then she says, "Do you have the estimate from the repair shop?"

"Uh, not on me. But heres my utility bill and my car rental agreement."

"Here is our fax number."

"I can't just get the pass really quick? I'm late for work."

"We need the estimate to determine how long you need the pass."

"I told you, till the end of the week. Friday. Its Tuesday. So that would be only about 3 1/2 days."

"We need the estimate to determine...."

"Um, yea, you said that....uh, okay. Thanks for being so helpful."

As soon as I get outside the office, I call the repair shop, explain the sitch and ask them to fax over the estimate. He says he will take care of it. I also explain I need it sent now because I need to pick up this pass....now.

So I leave, go home, take the poor chihuahua on a supersonic walk, shower, shovel food in, get all gussied up and zoom on back over for another staring contest. The same young lady helps me and stares at me as if we have just met.....so I explain it again....

(AHA! I just got it! All the Stepford wives live HERE!)

Once I go through it all again, she goes to the fax and says nothing came in. I tell her I called them over an hour ago. Nope. Nothing.

Dern.

So I call the repair shop.......again.

Explain myself.....again.

Ask them to fax it now.......again.

Thank them......again.

(Jeopardy music playing as we wait...)

"Oh here it is." She says 10 minutes later. It finally comes over.

The young lady then starts examining my other paperwork and informs me that my phone bill is too old. "Its two months old" she tells me.

"Its from June"

"But its July"

"But I haven't gotten one for July yet and its NOT 2 months old."

"Do you have a more current utility bill?"

"Do you have a new facial expression?" (Sooooo badly wanted to say that, but didn't)

"Uhhhh....OH! I just got my gas bill sent to me via email this morning on my phone! Here! Here, this is current!"

(I point to the place where it says "Gas Company" and the place where it says my address and an amount.)

"I need something to determine the address for the bill."

"Uh, its right there!" I point again.

"No, can you log into your account?"

"On my cell? That'll take hours and I don't even have AT&T but it'll take me that long to figure out my password. I'm on auto-pay. They send me this bill, they take my money from my account. See? Real simple....unlike THIS!"

"I will have to speak to my manager."

At this point, I am a weeeeee bit annoyed and can't believe this girl is giving me so much crap. I just need a pass for 3.5 freakin' days and then the ridiculous Ford Escapes-my-mind-why-anyone-would-buy-it, can go back to the rental car agency. Why is this so hard? I am at the end of my rope.

"Look, I don't have time to go home and get another bill that I don't even have anyway because all my utility bills are on auto pay except my Verizon cable which IS HERE. Can you please just give me the pass so I can get to my job that I am ALREADY 20 mins late for? I'm not asking you to build me a freakin' garage!"

She finally starts filling the pass out and tells me the pass will cost $1.

I put a dollar on the counter.

She continues......slowly filling out the pass....

"Next time you will need to bring a more current utility bill."

This time *I* stare at HER.

Then she says, "The pass is good through Thursday. If you need the pass through the weekend, you will need to bring the new estimate and a more current utility bill."

"So I'd need to come back Friday and do this dance again with you?"

"No, we are closed Fridays."

You gotta love small towns.

How NOT to name drop.

Alright class, settle down. We are going to go over a very basic social phenomenon and how NOT to do it. Yes, name dropping.

I recently and unwillingly fell into a conversation with a coworker that I'll call "PJ". He's one of those guys that constantly has to prove that he is relevant and knows something, despite his being much younger than the rest of us and therefore less experienced. And instead of just kicking back, opening his ears and maybe learning a thing or two, he insists on telling stories about when he worked here or there and blah, blah, blah....ow, my ears are bleeding...

Anyway, one day he shares with me the mother of all name dropping stories. And much to my delight, I will now pass it on to you! (hopefully YOUR ears won't bleed) So, here he is excitedly standing in my doorway, eyes all lit up and trying so hard to win my approval, so he launches into this story:

"Ok, so like, I was at a restaurant one day with my friends and I'm all, dude, our waiter looks familiar and so I say to my friends 'Dude! Our waiter looks familiar' and they're all 'Dude! Yer right! He does look familiar!' and so I'm all, huh, I wonder where I know him from and then he like, opens his mouth and he's like, got an Australian accent and he's like, Asian, and thats really unusual, cuz Asians aren't from Australia, so I'm all, dude, I know who this guy is! And my friends are all, 'Dude! Who is he?' and I'm all 'Dude! Its the guy that played the best friend of the one girl in the sequel of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants!".

(this is where I am staring at him.....occasionally blinking....)

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, I finally say,

"I have no f**king idea who you are talking about."

Wind out of his sails, he's defeated, but for the love of God! Does ANYONE know who the hell he is talking about?

Name Dropping Rules:

1. Don't tell your story in one long run on sentence.

2. Don't use the word "dude" where a period should be.

3. MAKE SURE THE CELEB IS ACTUALLY SOMEBODY THAT PEOPLE KNOW!!!

I don't know what to do with this kid, but people, let this be a lesson! If you are going to go out on a limb to name drop, have it be about someone like Bono or Lindsay Lohan! At least we could launch into a conversation about how do you think Lilo will fair in jail or something! Poor little dude. I probably crushed him, but I seriously had no F-in idea who he was talking about and if any of you DO, please send me a link because I don't know any Asians that actually come from Australia! Hahah! Silly kid, actually thinks that that was a possibility! Aaaaahhhh, youth!