Monday, August 18, 2008

Long time, no sleep.


Trying to function normally on little sleep for weeks and weeks at a time is about as fruitful as trying push a diesel truck up a hill with a toothpick. And I haven't slept since April. What I wouldn't give for a full 8 hours with no whining chihuahua, no creaking walls, no earthquakes, no thunderstorms, no coughing.....and no whining chihuahua. I had to mention that one twice because that has been the largest factor in my lack of nocturnal coma time. Just to prove my point, I am going to type the rest of this entry, without the backspace to fix mistakes as I type. (It took me 20 mins to type this paragraph) We'll see if I lose you all quickly, or if it turns out entertaining.

I can't in fact, remember the last ime i wrote in this thing an thats mainly because I coulsnt FIND it! Yes, I klost ,y blog. I hav since saved it as a bookmark....but thien i had a time remembering my password. why are there SO MANY passwords! PASSWORDS FOR EVERYTHING!!! I've been wanting to tell you all about he construction that continues across the street, the ghosta that invade my house and may family rhatr came into town last week! We had soooo much fun, but now I have a cold bcause, fun+visitors+lackofsleep=sick. And of course, all weekend, as I lay on the couch coughin and hacking, the whining chihuahua is doing what else? Whining. He's old. He;s cranky. He doesnt know what he wants and whats worse is that I don't know what he wants and so it esclates from a whning chihuahua to a flailing, barking chihuahua! Ugh. He's waering me out. I love him, dearly, but he's wearing me the F out.

BTW, the above picture is from when my fami;y was here and the neoghbors with the opium couch invited us for a Fedora and mustache party! Screaming success! Chihuahua didn't havw a fedora, but I made him a mustache so he wouldn't feel left out! And yes, he wears a diaper now!

Let me give you a brief breakdown of chihuahua's medical woes and why he has pawcuffs on. He is hovvering around 19 years of age. Hes' a rescue, so no one really knoes and the vet just kept adding years every time I went in becase of something he did, some behavior he exhibited or some new ailment tht had cropped up overnight. When I got the little man 4 years ago, he was infested woth fleas, dirty, had a lung infectiong, eye infection, seizures and a gagging habit.

Within 4 months of adoption, I found out he had skin cancer......on his penis. Poor little monkey. There were few options. Do nothing and let it spread to a long and painful death. Operate and have said cancerous penis removed (i can see men grabbing their crotches) or just put him down now. (I actually had people think this was the option I should have done) I opted for the operatin because I wasn't giving up on him and I had vowed to take care of him to the best of my ability. Little monkey made it through the surgery well and spent a week in the hospitail. I would go visit him and he would have all these IV's hooked up and i would hold him and he'd just cry in my arms. But he was a fghter and he healed nicely and had little complaint once we went home.

Next, his seizures got worse. They went from a few times a month to sevseral a day. Put him on meds and after a few days of stumbling around like a drunk soldier, he adjusted adn no more seizures. A month after that, I found out he had a heart condition. Luckily, he had made it through the cancer surgery, but if we had known of this before the surgery, he never would have had it and the outcome of the 3 1/2 pound whining chihuahua would have been very different.

Then he had a skin condition that makes his hair fall out.....followed by a neurological disorder whose medication stifles any functions deemed unneccesary, like hair regrowth. So the skin disorder is under control, but the medicine for his brain function will not allow his fur to regrow, so he is slowly becoming bald. On top of ALL of that, he had premanantly dislocated his left front paw and thus the "rogue paw" was born and hence, the pawcuffs that actually KEEP his paws together so he has hope to actually walk....as long as the neurologcal disorder is not in full swing disabling any and sometimes ALL paws at any given time....PHEW!

The thing I love the most are the dirty looks i get. Oh yea, I get 'em. If any of you know Manhattan Beach, CA, its like any upscale place full of wealthy soccer moms who have nothing to do all day but go to yoga class. I ran into one such mom at the vet one day when chihuahua had on the pawcuffs. She sat in the waiting room, in her workout clothes giving me great looks of disgust and just as her disdain for me and the cruelty I inflicted on this poor helpless animal got the best of her, she snarls at me "What's wrong with him?!" Luckily I was in a great mood that day and I said "What ISN'T wrong with him! He;s old! Hahah!" If it had been one of my grumpy days, this would have been my more likely response....

"Look lady, I get that you've downward dogged enough times that your brain has entirely too much blood flow. Hpwever, that doesn't make you smarter or better able to recognize a situation and therefore judge. So until you fully know the ALL the joys this little beast has endured, spend your dirty disapproving looks elsewhere!"

So there's the nutshell of this little chihuahua's life. And I continue to have nights of fragmented sleep and nights of none, but I long for the noghts I used to have where I would fall asleep and be off in that beautufl land of slumber for a solid 8! Oh, and if one more person tells me I'm ready for kids, I will hand them one very grumpy, very slobber, very whiny and very crazy chihuahua to spend a night with and they will see how he's more like birth control! I don't know i I could go through this again....I'M EXHAUSTED!!!