Sunday, February 15, 2015

I'm positive it's Valentine's Day.

I have been one of those girls that is more often than not, single on Valentine's Day.  For years I dreaded it and complained about it, pressing for sympathy from others.  Then I rejoiced when someone came up with SAD or Singles Awareness Day.  Yay!  All of us singles get to cry out in pain "Thanks for the reminder!" with multiple voices raised up in negativity against the injustice!  As if it was someone else's fault that we were single. Mmmmmmyea.

For years...ok, decades....I had been riding the negativity train that most of society rides.   Several times over the years I wanted off and while I'd hop off for awhile, society would eventually drag me back on.  Its hard to have a different point of view than the masses.  When you do, people think you are weird.  How do I know this?  Because I used to look at people that were happy all the time as weird!  They just weren't normal. Who could you be happy 24/7 when people took pride in cutting each other down and bitching about EVERYTHING?  Nobody likes a Debbie Downer but we've been breeding them in droves!!

I had glimpses of living in bliss and joy but it was impossible to stay there.  Everyone liked to bitch and complain about their boss, their spouse, their roommate, the moron at the drive-thru.  It was our way to bond with others.  I still struggle with finding positive things to talk about and sometimes I just sit there in silence because in my head this is the conversation I'm having...."Nope, can't say that, its negative. Nope. Can't talk about the moron at the dry cleaners that screwed up the alteration cuz thats complaining.".....I'd end up in "Soooooo.....WOW, have we been having gorgeous weather or WHAT!?"

Good grief.  Pretty sad.

So yesterday I refused to bitch and moan about being single....again.  I knew I'd read enough on Facebook from others so I decided to hatch a "Grateful for You Day".  I mean, seriously, Valentine's Day is just a commercial holiday where a lot of pressure is put on couples to "love" each other by buying crap.  Tell them you love them by buying jewelry!  Chocolates! Take them out to dinner! Buy the perfect roses!  Don't end up in the dog house!

This year it dawned on me that I am thankful to not have that pressure! So I thought I would instead focus on the people that I DO have in my life, instead of that ONE that I don't.  I really am blessed to have so many friends and family that are smart, funny and just downright weirdos! Of course I love weirdos because I am one myself, so I took to Facebook to give a shout out to everyone in my life because it feels so much better to send out that goodness than be panhandling for sympathy!  

And to my awesome friend "Hooka", she got this from me, her "Bitz". 

#HappyValentinesDay #ValentinesDay #StoneColdWeirdos #KanyeLovesKanye #Kanye #Hooka #Bitz #Positivity #Love #Hearts #Grateful #DogHouse #Consumerism #CommercialCrap

What did you do for Valentine's Day and what does it mean to you?

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Worst. Wingman. Ever.

Yes Chihuahua.....I'm talking about you.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised because as you can imagine, most guys don't come running up to a 6lb dog and squeal in a high pitched voice "He's so CUUUUUUTE!"  So I get it, mistake number one on my part.

I could have got a bigger, more "manly" dog, but I've always liked miniature things.  Ask my dad.  He actually made me a mini chest of drawers for all my little trinkets because I was fascinated by them as a kid.  Not sure why, but there is nothing cuter than a little dog.  So compact and adorable.  And if they start acting like a stubborn burro, you just scoop them up and carry on.  Plus Monkey doesn't really shed and he's easy to fold up in carry-on and fly all over.  Most dogs haven't been to the 4 corners of the United States, but this one has.

So out on walks, like most dogs, he's focusing on one of two things. Things to pee on and things to eat.  Not surprisingly, his sniffing style changes between the two.  For the "peeing" category, his sniffing is usually centered in one area.  Lots of minute nose movement and very few leg movements.  But when there is a Taco Bell or Carl's Jr wrapper in the vicinity, the mode switches to fast and furr-ious. (Must find food. Must find food. Must find food.)  

Monkey thinks he's sneaky and doesn't realize I know the difference.  So when he happens upon a rogue chicken wing, I'm usually arriving at the same time and the tug of war begins.  If I don't happen to catch it, an entire burrito or Egg McMuffin could be devoured in one inhalation.  Have you ever watched a dog unhinge their jaw?

And while, yes, girls are drawn to him and swoon over his adorability...thats a word right?...I didn't figure that he would actually hit on them first, but he does.  

"Hey pretty lady? You single?"

On occasion a man will come over and wanna say hi and pet Monkey but the face he gives them is the Captain Boredom pic below.  Meh.  Completely disinterested in them, practically peeing on their legs and pulling at his leash to continue our walk, the guy gets the feeling that my dog hates them. Thanks Monkey.  If I make him sit still for a few minutes, he'll start complaining.....LOUDLY.  


A few weeks ago, while we were out on our evening walk, he kept stopping and looking behind him.  I wasn't sure why he was doing this so I kept dragging him forward. But over and over he would stop and look behind him.  Finally I stopped as well and looked behind.  Two gorgeous 20-something blondes going out for the eve.  Monkeys tail started wagging faster and faster as they approached and he gave off a few excited howls as they got closer.  

(my ears started bleeding)

Don Juan Chihuahua strikes again.