Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I have something to say!!!

I know its been a super long while since I've written anything, but its usually because my life is a bunch of crap.  And so....well, its still a bunch of crap but I'm now back in the world of cyber-dating.  Oh, yes, I said it......I'm BACK, meaning I've been there before and honestly didn't like it the first 47 times.  And no they don't have a t-shirt, but thanks for asking.

No, no, this is about the "bait" that guys are using to reel us ladies in on the internet and there seems to be a few trends.  The first one is the "Dig Me".  They are the guys that think their car should speak for them.  This is what one of them looks like and lemme tell ya, I think its pretty funny that we have a better shot of the car than HIM!  Sign me up! I'll date his CAR!! But does HE have to actually be in the car too?  Ugh.  Forget it then.

MmmmHmmmmm, moving on.  While we are on the subject of cars, can someone PLEASE explain why guys like to take pictures of themselves in their cars and most times, actually DRIVING?  What is that all about?  Its obvious that they took the pics themselves but what is that really about? We can't see the type of car that it is unless you know a thing or two about cars like I do, but most women don't so I don't get it.  

Hold please while I ask my male friend.  Hopefully he can clear some of this up.  In the meantime, check out these "I'm-driving-in-my-car-and-think-I-look-really-cool" pics.  Oh and also check out the Blu Blockers that ALL of them are wearing! Hey 1992 called and it wants its sunglasses back.  WTF?

Look a preppy driving and taking pictures of himself! Yay!

Ok, so update from a guy.  He says that a.) guys take pics in cars because they are usually all dressed up and going somewhere so they think they look the best and/or b.) guys won't ask friends to take pics of them.  He could not, however, explain why some dudes are actually driving while they are taking their pics.  Thinning the herd I suppose.  I just hope they don't thin those of us that don't wanna be thinned! 

Nice chain dude.

Oh and gents, another thing, why are NONE of you smiling? Would it kill ya to show some teeth?
(Don't even get me started on the Ed Hardy.  Thanks Jersey Shore.)

"I'm the driver of a limo, so this isn't even my car.......but I still look good.....yeeeeaaaa"

Ok, this guy looks good in his sunglasses but he looks mean.  I don't like mean.  Mean is mean.  Mean is like, someone stole my donut and now I'm mad mean.  Mean.

Next we have MORE sunglasses, but this time its from his mom's kitchen.  Yippee!!  Mmmm, whats mom cookin'? Smells delish!  Must be fish head stew because ole boy don't look too happy.  MmmHmm.

Maybe it wasn't mom's kitchen but Uncle Sergio's.  Uncle Sergio? Is that you??  You're on here too?  And this is your main profile pic?   Mmmm, we need to talk about the wife beater, reading glasses and the "sauce" on the counter.  Sends the wrong message I think.

Oh shoot and cousin Pedro! I didn't know....I mean, its cool yo, I just didn't think......cuz you know.....you said you and the ladies are......well, yea.......I mean.......nevermind.  Uh, but put on a shirt would ya?  Thanks.

Now we have one that makes perfect sense! Ok, not really, unless you are in the market for a perfectly formed and groomed.......tricep!  Yep, there it is!

But why?

(*shaking head*)

Nice boobs by the way.  They are so......perky.

Moving on.....

Next we have.....and I'm not kidding you.....this is the guys MAIN and ONLY picture on his page! I don't get it!?!  What am I missing?  I know he's missing a shirt and well....a head....but why!?!? A farmers tan and a flat tummy? Mmmmmmkay. How could a girl say no!?


Finally, I've been complaining that these guys never show teeth, so here's what I get:


And finally.  This one gets the Grand WTF?!?! Prize.

Say it with me now.  W. T. F.

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