I know its been awhile. I've been debating.

And what, ye ask have I been debating?

Blogging.

Why?

Because I don't know if I want the world knowing my deep, certainly dark thoughts. I have so much to say and I may feel better sharing them but I'm just not sure. What if I am not pc? What if I offend? What if people are shocked to know certain things about me? Like that I love almond butter waaaaaay more than I like peanut butter? Or that I hate my legs? Or that I'd secretly love to know more about cars and that I wished I had kept my '94 Civic for the sole reason of tricking it out so I could join the all girls drifting club "Drifting Pretty"?

I dunno.

So much uncertainty. The economy sucks, but I hear its on the rebound. I wish my company felt that way. Things around here are, well.........morale sucks. There I said it. People are being scooped up by other companies and the president of ours roams the halls each day seeing who isn't busy and sends them home.....without pay. Yes. Things are bad. I love my job and I love my boss, but there are so many changes happening and the daily echo in empty offices filled with the footsteps of the president on his rounds is like waiting for the other shoe.....no boot to drop. Its not a good feeling. And its a heavy boot.

Tomorrow morning I have a pack of wild window installers descending on my house to replace my 13 rotting windows. (My building was built in the 20's) I asked my landlord to unstick 3 windows that her incompetent house painters painted shut last spring and her response, after much crying poor....did i mention she live in the Palisades? A very wealthy section of LA overlooking the FREAKIN OCEAN?

Ahem.

After she cried poor, she brought her 'window' guy over to look at them and she decided to replace all of them, while humming a tune about raising my rent when my lease is up. Nice. Not a lot to be happy about these days. Well, except that I am losing weight. In a healthy way. Eating whole foods and exercise. Not a fad diet people. Good old fashioned real food and exercise. I know, I know, you stopped reading when I didn't have a miracle quick fix. Read it aaaaaaand weep. Whole foods...........AND exercise. Write that down.

Which brings me to my pet peeve of the moment about losing weight and training for shows. I cannot stand it when people see me losing weight for a show and they say "Oh, so are you now in the starving part of your dieting?" (quick stealth backhand to offending person) "Uh, no, this is the part where I eat more than you and STILL lose weight." You really want to piss me off, ask me if I'm starving myself, but be warned, I offer up and healthy dose of whoop @ss.

The odd part....when I do starve myself by eating 2-3 meals a day.....like most people.....I actually GAIN weight. When I am "starving" myself for a show I am eating 5-6 times a day. You do the math. But no calculating while you are in the drive thru at Taco Bell.

I gotta go move some freakin' furniture around, so the pack of wild window installers can actually get AT the windows. Oh and did I mention, they never said what time they were showing up? Great, better wear something decent to bed but if they show up at 7am I'm kicking them off my porch.....or I'll let 6lbs of crazy do it. Better known as Monkey. Beware of the Monkey!

What a way to start a weekend. Grumpy and feeling like my job is empty and worthless.

yippee.